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Running from Ourselves

“Humankind cannot bear very much reality,” T.S. Eliot remarks in Four Quartets, and it is common knowledge that searching for the private ‘truth’ of any individual’s psychic life evokes resistance. We are too easily seduced away from the truth, the reality of our own inward experience, which may often seem beyond communication and hence beyond respect or value. Too easily, in the name of the good or the rational or the moral or the christian or the democratic or even the socially acceptable, we blink away the actualities of our condition-the feelings, drives, dreams, and desires- that express, with painful accuracy, the depths at which we really live. Not where we think or imagine we should live or where society advises us to live, but where our lives are fueled and our deepest satisfactions experienced. This is what we disregard. Too often we allow ourselves to live lives that are secondhand and largely theoretical, devoted to goods we do not truly desire, to gods in whom we do not truly believe.

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